Chapter 12: Tying Lose Ends

“Merry Christmas.” Drake smiled down at Nicki once he saw her eyes flutter open. He thought she looked so innocent when she slept and he was so grateful that he had the privilege of wake up to her most mornings. He looked down at her and noticed the dazed look still on her face. She obviously hadn’t woken up fully yet so he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you… more than you know.”

“I love you too.” Nicki said back groggily. She reached up and rubbed the stubble on his cheek while staring into his eyes. One thing she loved about being with Drake was the moments they had like this one. Where they could just drift away in each other’s arms, get lost in each other’s eyes and just let go. When they kissed all of her problems went away, none of her worries seemed to matter when they were together.

After looking into each other’s for what seemed like eternity Nicki pecked his lips one last time before getting up to head to the bathroom. “You wanna join me?” She asked, looking back at him.

“I’d love to but I can’t take anymore teasing.” Nicki pouted with a shrug then closed the door to begin her shower. Drake laid back in his old bed and looked up at the ceiling. It was great to see his parents again and even though his relationship with his dad wasn’t the best he was still glad to see that they were both okay. Drake closed his eyes and relaxed his mind as he slowly drifted off to sleep. When he woke up he felt the weight of Nicki’s head on his chest. She loved being in this position because she could hear his heartbeat. Strong and steady, just like him. Clad in his Calvin Klein boxers, Drake could feel the soft material of Nicki’s sweats on his body, then connected his eyes with hers. He noticed the distressed look in her eyes but her face seemed full of content. He could only draw the conclusion that she was trying to hide her feelings from him.

“You okay?” He studied her face and waited for a reaction that he never got. “Nika?”

“I’m fine.” Nicki said in a hushed voice, turning her head away from him. Drake placed his hand on the small of her back and sat up, pulling her with him.

“Hey, you know you can tell me anything right?” Nicki sighed before speaking.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nicki.” Just from looking up at his face she already felt secure, but not enough.

“I just don’t want you to get in your feelings about it.” Drake huffed, annoyed at her attempt of staling.

“Nicki just tell me what’s on your mind so so I can help you.” Nicki poked her lip out and sucked it up.

“I still…” Nicki polked her lip out even further and began to draw circles in his chest with her finger.

“You still what?” Drake questioned calmly, happy that she seemed to be letting him in.

“I… still haven’t heard from Safaree.” She said in a low whisper, but Drake caught Safaree’s name. He stiffened; astonished at the fact that Safaree could still have such a strong effect on her when they weren’t even in the same country!

“Safaree?” Drake said shocked.

“See now your mad.” Nicki felt the tears coming and attempted to get up and run to the bathroom but Drake pulled her back into him.

“No no no. I’m not mad.” He lied straight through his teeth. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Is just we haven’t spent not one Christmas apart in such a long time and-”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Drake rubbed her back. “I’m sure he’ll call or something.” It pained Drake to say it but Nicki was what was most important to him and if Safaree was what she wanted… then Safaree she would get. Nicki could feel that Drake was tensed and immediately felt bad.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought t up.”

“No I’m glad you did.” Drake sighed and Nicki looked up to meet his eyes. “Safaree might not be my favorite person in the world but he’s important to you and that’s all that matters. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep your feelings from me okay? That’s not the type of relationship I want us to have.”

“Okay.” Nicki smiled, feeling the weight that had been crushing her chest vanish within seconds. “I’m so happy I’m with you.”

“Me too.”

*****

“Oh, I’m going to miss you!” Sandi exclaimed as she gave Nicki her biggest bear hug. “You and Aubrey come back to visit any time and I mean it.”

“Thanks Mrs. Graham.”

“Call me Sandi dear… oh I almost forgot!” Sandi rushed to the kitchen and came back to hand Nicki a small white box. “This is for you.” Sandi beamed.

“Wow, you really didn’t have to get me anything.” Nicki studied the beautiful jewelry box before looking up at both Sandi and Dennis. “I know you’re Jewish.” Dennis cleared his throat before speaking.

“Consider it a thank you for being such a great asset in Aubrey’s life. Why don’t you open it?” Nicki opened the box and gasped once she revealed a white gold charm bracelet with a Toronto snow boots charm.

“This is so beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“No problem dear. Just wear it whenever you want to think of Toronto.”

“I will.” Nicki handed the bracelet to Drake so he could help her put it on her wrist. As soon as he hooked the two ends together his phone vibrated.

“Okay guys the car’s outside.” Drake moved to his mother and hugged her after hissing her cheek. He gave Dennis a hug as well before making their way out the house.

“That was a nice visit babe.” Nicki said putting on her seatbelt.

“Yep.” Drake waved one last time to his parents who were still standing outside before the driver took off. Nicki dug in her purse and pulled out her phone so she could call her family. She didn’t really care who answered; she just needed to tell someone what time she’d be there. It felt like forever to Nicki as she waited for someone to pick up the phone. Just as she was about to hang up she heard a familiar voice.

“Hello?” Micaiah balanced the phone between his shoulder and ear so he could still play his game. Hearing her baby brother’s voice brought a smile to her face.

“Hey lamb chop.” Micaiah’s eyes got wide and he almost dropped the phone.

“Nika?”

“Yes lamb chop it’s me.” Micaiah paused his game and grabbed the phone with two hands.

“You’re coming home today right?” Nicki could hear the excitement in his voice.

“On my way to the airport right now.”

“And mom said your bringing somebody too?”

“Mhmm.” Nicki looked over at Drake who seemed preoccupied with his phone.

“Is it somebody famous? Is it Lil Wayne?”

“Yes and no.”

“Is it Drake?”

“You’ll just have to wait to find out lamb chop.” Micaiah groaned in annoyance that Nicki wouldn’t tell him who was coming to their home.

“We’ll when are you gonna get here?”

“Well my flight is 2 hours since its snowing so hard sooo… at around one o’clock.”

“Is there time difference?”

“Nope, we’re on the same time but I still have to check into my hotel.”

“How come you can’t just stay here?”

“Because lammy, I just need a little space while I’m there. I’ll be spending most of my time with you guys though.” Nicki heard Micaiah sigh on the other end.

“Okay we’ll I can’t wait to give you your present so come as soon as you can.” Micaiah said with a wide grin.

“Aww you got me a present?”

“Yeah, well you always get me a lot of stuff so I wanted to get you something too.”

“That’s so sweet. Thank you.” Nicki said with a pout.

“I really hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“Because I saved up money for four months just so I could get you the best one.” Nicki felt like crying. Micaiah was the cutest thing to her trying to get her a gift.

“You didn’t have to spend all your money on me sweetie.”

“But I wanted to because I love you… but mom is calling me so I have to go. I love you.”

“I love you too. See you later okay? And tell don’t forget to tell mommy what time I’m coming.”

“Okay.”

Nicki ended the call and looked out the window. Talking to her brother had really brightened up her mood and Drake picked up on I immediately.

“Someone looks happy.” Drake said, eying Nicki’s smile.

“Yeah, my lamb chop is the best.” She confessed, as her smile got even bigger.

“I’m sure he is. Can’t wait to meet him.”

“Well I’m sure he’s gonna be excited when he realizes it’s you.” Nicki slid over to him and Drake wrapped his arm around her.

“That’s what it’s like to be me.” Drake said as he sighed dramatically.

“Shut up!” Nicki couldn’t help but laugh.

“Jealous much?”

“Jealous of what?” Nicki scoffed. “I have more fans than you.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I have 17 million followers on Twitter and you only have like… 10.”

“12 actually.” He corrected. “But I’m almost to 13.”

“Whatever.” She waved him off. “Nobody can touch my Barbz.”

“Yeah yeah.”

*****

After checking into their penthouse suite, Nicki decided to venture over to Safaree’s mother’s house, which was a couple blocks from the hotel. She had planned to leave this visit till tomorrow when she was better rested but she couldn’t wait anymore.

“Oh hi Nicki.” The older woman stepped out of the doorway to embrace her. “I was wondering where on earth you’ve been. You and Safaree usually travel together but I figure something must have happened since he’s been locked up in his room so long.”

“About that… do you mind?”

“No, no, no. Of course not dear. Maybe you can get more out of him than I can.” As Nicki made her way upstairs, the faint rap music in the background kept getting louder and louder until she finally reached Safaree’s old room. Nicki turned the doorknob and to her surprise it was unlocked.

“Safaree, what is wrong with you?” Nicki fumed as she looked him over. The lights were off and he was laying bed clad in a pair of boxers and Nike socks. Safaree turned his body, looking over at her warily and Nicki could tell he had been sleeping.

“Get out.” He stated simply.

“Excuse you.” Nicki felt like she was about to explode.

“Leave.” Safaree closed his eyes for a while as if he was waiting for the right time to open them and Nicki would be gone. When he finally did lift his eyelids Nicki was still standing over him, looking pissed. She opened her mouth to say something but Safaree cut her off.

“Don’t even start Nic. You can’t really even be mad cuz’ nobody asked you to come here.” He sat up looking her straight in the eyes. “You wanna be all cuddled up with Drake? That’s cool but don’t be commin chasing after me when I don’t wanna be bothered anymore.”

“What the fuck Safaree! First off you never told me any of this shit! You can’t just fucking leave while I’m on tour. I don’t give a fuck if you got personal problems, that’s your fucking job. And unless you don’t want to keep it I would advise you to never pull that bullshit again. You don’t have to be my friend Safaree but if you’re gonna be my hype man you have to be professional.”

“Stop playing girl like you don’t care if we friends or not. You love me.” Nicki brushed Safaree’s hands away form her waist as quickly as they had appeared.

“No I don’t Safaree!”

“Yes you do! You always have! I’m just the one that always has to pull it out of you. Damn!”

“Safaree.” Nicki massaged her temples in an attempt to try and calm down. “I am not in love with you anymore. I do love you but I’m not in love with you. I love Drake. I’m in love with Drake.” Safaree shook his head silently. “Stop trying to make this into something that it will never be again.”

“Have you slept with him yet?”

“You don’t have a right to ask me that.” Nicki gritted her teeth.

“You haven’t have you?” Safaree said with a grin. “You can’t because you still have feelings for me. You can’t give yourself to him because you’re still in love with me. Actually, I don’t even think know who you love.”

Nicki looked down at him with a blank stare because that’s all she could seem to do. She could say nothing. She could do nothing. All she could do was stare. Because Safaree was right. All this time she had been avoiding sleeping with Drake because deep down she thought that she might still have feelings for Safaree but seeing him here in this moment made her realize who she really loved.

“Your right.”

“I know.” Safaree stated matter-of-factly.

“Your wrong about one thing though.”

Safaree sighed. “And what’s that.”

“I know what I want and I know who I love. His name is Drake.” Nicki turned to leave but Safaree grabbed her hand.

“Just stay. Maybe we can talk about some things.”

Nicki regained control of her hand and continued to the door. “I have somewhere I need to be. Merry Christmas Safaree.”

*****

Nicki closed the door to her and Drake’s suite and journeyed to the bedroom. She heard Drake in the shower and decided to join him. Once she had disrobed of all her clothes she opened the shower door as the hot steam hit her body giving her goose bumps all over. Drake hugged her body close and lifted her off the ground. As she wrapped her legs around his waist all she could do was stare into his eyes.

“You okay?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.

“I’m ready.”